I've discovered that what I thought was gradual deafness as my parents hit their 50's was actually selective hearing.
I can no longer hear my kids when they whine while the garbage disposal is running.
The washing machine drowns out eye rolls and gusty sighs.
Sarcastic comments from the back seat are just not audible when I'm driving . . . anywhere, at any speed.
I can't hear my kids bickering when I'm vacuuming the carpet.
As the kids get older, and more vocal, my hearing worsens. I just can't discern their enunciations, pronouncements, or pontifications.
Selective hearing? Oh, no. I must admit to age-induced hearing loss.
That's my story, and I'm sticking with it.