A cop passed a minivan driving erratically on the highway. He flashed his lights, turned on his siren, and still the driver kept moving. He drove up beside it and motioned to the driver to pull over. He saw what the problem was . . . she was knitting! He motioned again so she rolled down the window. He yelled, "Pull over!" She yelled back, "No, it's a cardigan!"
Why isn't knitting allowed on airplanes? They're afraid you'll knit an Afghan.There was once a man and woman who had been married for more than 60 years. They had shared everything. They had talked about everything. Nothing was held back. Well, almost nothing. They had kept no secrets from each other except that the little old woman had a shoe box in the top of her closet that she had cautioned her husband never to open or ask her about.
For all of these years, he had never thought about the box, but one day the little old woman got very sick and the doctor said she would not recover. In trying to sort out their affairs, the old man took down the shoebox and took it to his wife's bedside. She agreed that it was time that he should know what was in the box. When he opened it, he found two crocheted doilies and a stack of money totaling $250,000. Holy Moley! He asked her about the contents.
"When we were to be married," she started, "my grandmother told me the secret of a happy marriage was to never argue. She told me that if I ever got angry with you, I should just keep quiet and crochet a doily." The old man was so moved, he had to fight back tears. Only two precious doilies were inside the box! She had only been angry with him two times in all those
years of living and loving. He almost burst with happiness. "Honey," he said, "that explains the doilies, but.... what about all this money? Where did it all come from?"
"Oh," she said, "that's the money I made from selling the doilies.
The knitted Elvis wig.